Last week, I shared a poll on Instagram asking whether you had trouble *actually relaxing* or not.
100% of the answers were a resounding YES.
I was surprised, but still very much not surprised. Is it a generational thing? Is it our conditioning that makes us 'go go go' until we are forced to rest by our bodies and brains refusing to operate?
I am sure the "why" varies for all of us, but I am right there with you. In fact, after my daughter was born everyone told me to "nap when she naps." IMAGINE? I don't think that EVER actually happened, because even during that precious and sensitive time, I could not bring myself to fully relax.
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Like any true millenial, I have found a way to blame my Mom for this.
Just kidding, kind of. When my siblings and I were younger, I remember my mother having a big problem with any of us lying down or napping during the day. She would ask us why we were so tired, if we were on drugs, etc. You know, the usual. My family laughs about that now, but I do find myself resisting rest or relaxing a lot of the time. Just like most of you, I assume based on that Instagram poll. There have been many times I sit down to "chill" and immediately jump up to scrub a toilet or vacuum my daughter's room because I forgot earlier and IT CAN'T POSSIBLY WAIT.
The thing is, rest is necessary. Relaxing is medicinal.
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The key allowing yourself to relax is to be intentional about it.
What I mean is, I find it a huge challenge to go right from working to relaxing. My mind cant switch gears instantly, and maybe yours can't either. There has to be a buffer or some preparation.
So I propose a challenge: let's take intentional steps to relax, so that our bodies and minds can feel restored.
When your day is winding down, or when you feel like it's a good time to relax (this looks different for everyone), plan your next task, which is to relax.
Take a shower, make a tea or some other calming drink, light a candle, grab a book, put on your comfy clothes, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, etc. Essentially, get all your ducks in a row just as you would any other important task.
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For me, burning incense or lighting a candle first thing in the morning helps me start my day on a calmer note. Doing the same thing at the end of the day helps me (sometimes) not spiral about my performance as a parent/partner/business owner/sister/friend and actually helps me relax.
So, if you too are a go-go-go over-thinker with perfectionist tendencies (
), try this with me. Develop a relaxation system that give your mind a true rest. After your work, workout, dinner making, parenting marathon, planning, scheduling, bill paying, whatever, tasks are done (or when you need to be done), it's finally time to
), try this with me. Develop a relaxation system that give your mind a true rest. After your work, workout, dinner making, parenting marathon, planning, scheduling, bill paying, whatever, tasks are done (or when you need to be done), it's finally time torelax...like you mean it.